Oh Canada...Part 3

So, because of the emotional reaction I've had to my first post, I really needed to do a Oh Canada...Part 3 so that I can fill you in on the past events and tend to the disturbing events leading to why I came to Canada in the first place.

This is entirely not easy for me given that I'm very uncomfortable talking about these issues let alone printing them for all to see, but I owe so many people so much they deserve to know my reasons for the change and my decisions for coming to Canada.

Here it is...the truth as painful as it stands....

I applied to come out to Canada with my now ex-fiance more than 8 years ago. We went through an almost 4 year process to get to this stage which included medical checks, police checks, financial checks...you name it, we had to do it. When we finally got our PR (permanent resident) cards we sold the house, quit our jobs and had the removal men ready to go. Unfortunately for us, things had been boiling over for a while and we ended things 3 weeks before we left the country. He never made it over here and things ended amicably.

His body clock was ticking and before you know it he's engaged, has a baby on the way and had married a girl who looks exactly like me all within a year, strange but not unusual. I'm not bitter, I'm not sad I'm just glad that he found someone who could love him the way I couldn't. We were together for over 7 years but unfortunately for us, the spark extinguished and I preferred a life not living a lie or pretending that we were something we were not.

I on the other hand decided when we split to wait a while before thinking of coming out on my own....big mistake...huge mistake....As I realised later on, I would have been better off financially and emotionally coming to Canada right away. Things however are not always as they seem and painful as it is to admit, I can't say now I'd do anything differently as this country has changed me for the better.

So when we split up, I rented myself a place in town and did the things I love to do...singing mainly at the local karaoke bar and socialising with friends. It filled a void that I wasn't used to...being alone.

One night, I met a guy who seemed great, was exactly what I thought I needed at the time and we hit it off. Next thing I know I'm mingling with his friends and got to meet a really nice girl called Corinne. She held a world cup party that year that we were invited to and nothing seemed out of place. Infact, we got on really well. She called me the next day to say that money had been stolen from here house during the party. She was crying and unable to pay the rent and as if by magic, Stupid here offers to help her out. Then she had me. From here on in the story goes into detail which I know will keep me up at night so long story short her and her boyfriend (my boyfriend) decide to rip me off for anything I have in the world which at the time was enough to pay for a place here. My ex and I had split the proceeds from the house and she took it all.

You're probably thinking how I could be so stupid but in my defense everything was notarised and signed by lawyers. What they didn't check up on was that letters from her inheritance had been nullified so she was no longer entitled to any money. I called the police and found out that she'd done the same thing to at least 3 or more couples who were not her friends, just associates.

She had made so many excuses - her son was ill, she had cancer, her mother had died all of which I found despicable when I found out the truth. You may find me pathetic for having believed it in the first place but I assure you there are those hideous creatures in the world that pray on people and know what to look for. She had spotted my weakness a whole mile off and let me tell you this...no matter how much forgiveness there is in the world, no matter how ADULT it is to forgive someone, no matter how divine, I hope the bitch starves and dies because she did the one thing that is against my code of ethics...claiming your child is sick when they're not...sick, sick, sick. She doesn't deserve to have ovaries as far as I'm concerned.

I don't ever have any ill thoughts about anyone but I will tell you that Corinne Webb (If that's her real name - aliases galore people) is the exception to the rule.

She went to prison for 12 months. In that time, my dreams of coming to Canada faded as I had nothing to support myself. I had already quit my incredible job working for the local council. Given my qualifications and experience, I was on the equivalent of $58 per hour and now that was gone too. I had rent that I couldn't pay so I had to move back in with my parents. Things were bad. They got worse. I couldn't get past the fact that someone had screwed me over so royally and I had some serious issues surrounding what I should do next. My confidence had disappeared, for good or so it seemed.

I met some incredibly nice people over the course of the next year or two and some incredibly bad choices made things so much worse....mainly concerning an inability to function as a pleasant regular member of society. Bad people create bad people and I chose poorly. I got in with a crowd where I felt I belonged to find that really I was the butt of everyone's jokes. I was led into the seedy underbelly without any acknowledgement that I was doing anything wrong and I was preyed upon by some of the worst types of scum that very nearly killed me. When I say killed me, I truly emphatically mean it. I almost drowned in a hot tub because a guy hated me so much in the moment that he decided he would prefer me dead to living and by that point, I'd had enough so I didn't put up much of a fight.

My worst memory is one night when I'd had enough and as they do, my parents tried to talk sense into me. I had a bottle of paracetamol in my hands and my brain (no matter how sensible) was telling me that I needed to take the pills and be done with it. The most frightening part of that night was that it made sense to me to do it. I will never forgive myself for being so completely selfish in putting my parents through that. I hate myself for that, because that is not ME. You all know me. And this is me...my brain was just under so much pressure it couldn't cope with it anymore.

Anyway, there is far too much to tell about those days and not enough stomach to discuss it. I do not want pity for days past...I needed to learn a lesson from these experiences and I really did. This way, I can learn from my peers (which is you) and I now know how I want to live my life and who I am. These events though dire and painful show me what can be achieved, how strong I am and how much I appreciate the smaller insignificant things that may not matter to many but feel special to me.

I am stronger today than I ever was and it is only through these truths, these endurance's that we persist and learn to know ownership of our own lives and hold what is truly dear to us. Canada has saved my life and I will fight tooth and nail to show that it's way of life is the greatest in the world and that it's people are truly ethereal.